21 Mar Consequences of a Narcissistic Mother on a Child’s Mental Health
Parents and parenting styles play an essential role in developing a child’s mental health. Limited empirical research exists on the impact of narcissistic mothers on the mental well-being of their children. Narcissism, however, is evidence of a deep emotional wound or trauma that has not been resolved and devastates a person’s self-worth. Such damage to a parent’s defense mechanisms will inevitably influence their parenting style.
Research in the Indian Journal for Psychological Medicine in 2017 identified that 71% of children with an increased risk of psychiatric illness and hospitalization had a parent with mental illness. The study highlighted the impact of family structure and its adverse effects on the mental well-being of children. Parents with narcissistic traits interact with their children in a manner that can negatively affect their mental well-being.
A journal for Personality and Individual Differences study published in 2017 found that parental narcissism was negatively associated with optimal parenting and positively associated with non-optimal parenting. The researchers concluded that low empathy in narcissistic parents predicts unresponsive caregiving. Parents with this type of psychological wound may use fear tactics and manipulation to dominate, tease or bully to maintain superiority, turn time spent with family into an opportunity to shift attention back to themselves, blame the child for things that go wrong, withhold love, or not show compassion or empathy. A narcissistic mother may compare one child to another, compete with her children, use shame and guilt, or expect praise for mothering.
The inability or reduced capacity for parental warmth and affection adversely impacts the child’s ability to develop compassion and empathy. This lack of warmth reduces the capacity for the child to develop healthy self-esteem in adulthood. The parental focus on self-admiration is the opposite of what helps support the development of a good sense of self-worth for a child.
The International Journal of Psychology and Psychological Therapy reported in 2015 found that parental narcissism and the rate of children’s depression and anxiety were significantly correlated. Mothers who struggle with the symptoms that lay beneath narcissistic traits have a reduced ability to support the emotional growth of their children. Children of narcissistic parents generally experience greater feelings of humiliation and shame and grow up having poor self-esteem. This sense of shame can lead to increased depression and anxiety. The dynamic with a narcissistic parent can cause a child never to feel good enough, develop a codependent tendency in relationships, and become “people-pleasers.” These children become adults that are over-achievers, or self-deprecating, or both. Research has identified that these children may struggle with low self-esteem or a diminished sense of self. They experience a greater risk of trauma that may contribute to anxiety and isolation or even may think of suicide.
The lack of strong empirical research into the impact of narcissistic mothers on the mental well-being of their children leads to a deficit in reliable data to support the development of treatment interventions. There is limited information about the frequency of narcissistic parental influence on children experiencing anxiety or depression. Understanding the power of this contributing factor can help psychologists, and other mental health professionals assess familial interactions and how they may influence the symptoms the child is displaying.